Words Unsaid
by AndixxYukie
Summary: Hell seems to break loose once Levi and Y/N parted. Feelings they kept secret for years would probably remain just that - secrets.


She never thought she'd miss fighting titans. It was horrible, yes, but it was her normal. This – the existence of other humans and other nations – is so new and confusing! It's been four years, yet Y/N can barely keep up with all the changes.

She knows it's bad, being a soldier and not being able to adapt much. Still, Y/N tries. But then Eren went rogue and started that shitshow in Liberio. The politics of it all is lost on Y/N, but she does know that it only put a spotlight on them. What's more, is that they lost one of their veteran fighters and close friend, Sasha.

The only thing Y/N is positively thankful for is how she got a lot closer to Levi in the last four years. Going through hell the way they did is bound to do that to people.

* * *

She remembered it as if it was just yesterday – Levi took her and her 104th cadet corps classmates under his wing after Reiner and Bertholdt reveal themselves to be titan shifters. Y/N won't deny that she was intimidated by Levi, and occasionally scared of him. Still, it's difficult to not admire the man. Levi is really someone who –

"Oi! You look constipated. Need to use the can?" Levi pulled Y/N off her thoughts with one of his well-known jokes. Y/N made a face at that, but ultimately just ignored it, opting to tell Levi something she's been meaning to all day.

"I don't trust that monkey." She said firmly like nothing could possibly ever change her mind.

"I don't, either." Levi answered as he continued putting rations in his pack. Y/N decided to give him a hand and grabbed water canisters for Levi. "I don't like you being alone with him."

Levi finally stopped and stared at Y/N for a long time. Releasing a heavy sigh, and shoulders drooping with all the weight and responsibility he'd been carrying for years, Levi tried to reassure her.

"I won't be alone with him. Thirty fully armed soldiers will be with me." They were quiet as they continued their preparation. See, the residents within the Walls – residents of Paradis Island – finally took a move against those formerly aligned with Marley.

A bag of tea leaves were the last thing to go in Levi's pack, and their silence was now accompanied by their stillness. Which is the opposite of Y/N's heart. Restless is an understatement. She knows Levi can handle himself, however this Zeke posses' power they've never seen before.

"I know you're worried, Y/N. Things are becoming more unpredictable. But I need you to focus on your task." Levi told her, gentler this time. Because, unknown to Y/N, Levi actually enjoys her company. Still, getting closer to her is both exciting and terrifying to Levi. "Stop worrying about me and focus on your task. And stay alert… stay safe."

"Fine." Y/N wanted to say a lot more than that but decided against it. Levi is right, after all. It won't do her much good if her minds keep on wondering. Besides, she and those left from the 104th class has to deal with Eren.

"Well, I'm off." Levi was just about to open the door and leave when Y/N found herself calling after him. Why? Y/N doesn't know why she called Levi – there's nothing else to say now, is there? She thought about telling Levi how she feels – since years ago – but that sounded like they're saying goodbye for good.

"What?" Levi only received a shake of her head. Still, the silence spoke volumes. Levi echoes the same thoughts Y/N has at that moment. He stalled at the door, deciding what to do and – oh, fuck it, threw caution to the wind.

"Uh! – "All Y/N could do was make a meek sound of surprise. Levi reached out and hugged her. It was over in an instant, and Y/N was left confused as Levi rushed out red-faced.

* * *

"Y/N!"

"Yes?" Y/N was out of it. Her last interaction with Levi still sketched in her mind. Overthinking every detail, she even lost sleep on why Levi would do that?

"Let's go." Hange tried to get her attention again. Finally, Y/N decided that she'd just ask Levi when they see each other again. And she should do what Levi asked and focus on the task at hand.

See, a bunch of soldiers – mostly new recruits – released information about the Liberio incident to civilians and journalists. Naturally, people started to harangue the Survey Corps, especially Commander Hange. Hange, Y/N and some soldiers are about to face the bunch of soldiers who are dubbed Jaegerists.

What's more, is that General Zackley was murdered by these fanatics of Eren. It literally was a shitshow and whirlwind of events these past days. And the fact that Y/N still hasn't heard from Levi is starting to get onto her.

And as a cherry on top, Eren escaped his underground prison. Making their way to the horses, Y/N made her thoughts known. "We couldn't possibly trust Zeke, after everything that Yelena and the rest did." Still, she was most worried about Levi.

"Of course." Hange agreed, "we have to be thorough. If we don't want to be played like fools, we have to expose Zeke's scheme."

"How do we do that? Inquired Armin.

"We have to talk to the other Marleyans, of course."

They ended up at the restaurant – a place where Marleyans more or less felt at home. Y/N would like to say that everything went peachy afterward – they got exactly what they wanted, drank wine and ate good food, exposed Zeke and got rid of him, and got all the happiness they deserved. Alas, it's just where things got worse than they thought possible.

Turns out, the Wine the Marleyans gave out were contaminated with Zeke's spinal fluid – and any Eldian who drank it would turn to mindless titans whenever Zeke wants them to.

Which brings them to their current predicament.

"Do you think this will work? Water will really wash it out?" Y/N asked Jean as she tried washing off the blood from the boy's face and mouth. Hange was busy with filling the tub with water and telling Onyankopon what to do.

"I don't know." Jean answered her all business. Clearly, his mind is on the whatever Zeke has planned.

Nervousness started to spread from Y/N's nape down to her toes. Zeke is effectively threatening every Eldian here with his _spine-wine_ despite being far away. "Levi… they could be in trouble." Y/N said but was interrupted by a scuffle outside.

"Hange!" Jean and Y/N shared a look. Hange went to see what it's about.

"What is it?" Hange inquired. "Wha -?! Floch?" Jean and the others can't help their curiosity now, even Y/N. Making sure the kid won't drown, Y/N also went to look. Surprised? Yes, anyone would be if they see themselves at the end of several rifles.

"Commander. You must know where Zeke is. You're going to take us to him." Floch said, all business. He seriously looked ready to shoot and kill them. But Y/N couldn't care less about that. This can't happen – these Jaeger loyalists shouldn't be anywhere near Zeke! Especially now that Levi's with Zeke.

Before Y/N could do anything though, Hange took over. "Listen, we're not trying to oppose you. Didn't you get the proposal from the corps?"

"Yes. And we declined it. We don't negotiate with the corps."

"And why's that?" Hange said, eyes wandering over all the hostile soldiers.

"Eren's decision." By this point, Y/N is no longer paying much attention. Her thoughts are running wild on how she could get to Levi and warn him. She could go back inside – pretend to still care for the boy they were helping earlier. Y/N is pretty sure there's a small window she could sneak out of. And then …

They were pushed at gunpoint. Floch knocked at a door in the restaurant – one of the many private party rooms – "We're leaving." A voice which sounded a lot like Eren's answered, "Okay."

Y/N was shoved in a carriage with the injured Marleyan kid and Hange. Why? Floch decided that Y/N will be more likely to cooperate than just Hange. Floch knows Y/N would want to see Levi as soon as possible.

After stopping first at the Cadet training camp, they continued towards the general location of Levi's camp. Y/N wanted so badly to talk to Hange and plan. Some way to get rid of Floch. Y/N could barely glance at Hange without one of the Jaeger loyalists – Jaegerists – pointing a gun at her or threaten her.

They reach a river, and as they were crossing a small bridge, something exploded in the distant.

"What is that?"

"A lightning strike?"

While they were distracted, Hange and Y/N were finally able to share a look. It wasn't a lightning strike, it's a thunder spear.

"There must be something happening in the direction where the sound comes from." Floch announced. Y/N wanted to rush there more than anything, but she must act smart.

They came upon a steaming titan, injured horses, and a blown cart.

"Y/N, Commander Hange, please don't move around on your own."

Y/N mind was a blank yet chaotic at the same time. Her eyes scanning all around. Thunder spears mean someone from Levi's squad was here – or Levi himself. And that was when Y/N saw it – the wings of freedom!

Someone was lying at the river bank wearing the green cape of the Survey Corps.

"Someone's over there!" Y/N yelled, voice shaking. Y/N has a sickening feeling that it's Levi. "Hey! Are you still alive?" Y/N's heart stopped the moment she turned the person's face towards her. "Levi?"

Shards of the iron bamboo were embedded on Levi's bloody face. "No…" Y/N was rushing to check Levi's state, and more importantly if he's still breathing. Y/N didn't even notice Hange at her side. Levi still has a pulse, weak, but it's still there.

"I have no idea what happened… but we're lucky. Our number one threat is here all bloodied up."

"Let's shoot him in the head." Y/N instantly moved to shield Levi with her body. Mind rushing to plan to escape. Hange told Floch that Levi's dead. While she was busy convincing Floch and the others, Y/N was still stumped as on what to do. The river?

"I can also take his pulse. So let me have a look." Floch was starting to walk closer, making Y/N stand defensively.

"Move aside."

"No." Y/N was standing firmly. She won't back down even when Floch pointed a gun at her. "No."

Floch's finger was about to pull the trigger when someone called him. "Floch! There's something weird with this Titan!" At their distraction, Hange and Y/N decided to take Levi and escape, hoping the water won't kill the injured Levi.

"He's not breathing!" Hange said, and that was all Y/N needed to hear to take over. She began to give him chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth. "Breathe! Please, Levi…" Desperation was what kept her running. "You can't die yet. No…"

Y/N's mind was filled with memories of her and Levi, just drinking tea together or cleaning his office… and their brief hug. Y/N wasn't even able to tell him how she feels.

A beat… faint, but it is there. "His heart!" Y/N exclaimed and can't help the laughter that escaped her. It was certainly a combination of relief and stress.

"We need to find shelter… and to get warm and dry." Hange said despite knowing that she'd be the one to do that. There's no way Y/N would leave Levi. Of all people, Hange is the one who surely understands – she's the one to catch all their longing glances towards each other after all!

* * *

They – mostly just Hange – were able to find an abandoned and run-down cottage. The single cot was only big enough to fit Levi. Both Hange and Y/N had to settle for the rickety chairs or just lay down their capes as makeshift blankets.

Y/N never left Levi's side. It's been two days and he still hasn't woken up. His injuries are not good, still, he's alive. And Y/N is very thankful for that.

"I'm heading out now." Hange announced as she set off to scavenge for food. Good thing there is a lot of fish in the river and some wild mushrooms and root crops near the cottage.

"Okay. I'll be right here." Hange was about to say something else but decided against it. Nodding at Y/N, she went out. It was becoming their routine. Y/N feels guilty about leaving all that work to Hange, but she can't exactly leave Levi.

She began to clean Levi's wound for the day. Long gushes and deep wounds now cover his face. Y/N made sure to take all the blade shards, still, Levi would have to live with these scars. And his hands! He lost tips of his fingers. Y/N don't know if he would still be able to do the things he once was.

Y/N busied herself with repairing what's left of Levi's 3DM gear. They need to survive, and it'll be difficult without a single weapon. There are barely any usable pieces of blades left as well. Y/N's mind was on strangling Floch when rustling sounds reached her ears.

"Y/N…"

"Levi!" Y/N literally dropped everything. Levi's voice was weak and so unlike him. "How do you feel?" She asked, moving closer to inspect him.

"I feel like shit…" This answer gave Y/N some relief she needed. Levi sounds a lot like himself already. "That crazy monkey, he turned them all into titans." Levi had a far-off look on his face, probably thinking about his fellow soldiers.

"He really did, huh? It was the wine. Everyone who drank it also ingested Zeke's spinal fluid."

Levi finally turn to look at Y/N. "You didn't have any of it, did you?" Before Y/N could answer, Levi tried to reach out to her… and noticed his hand for the first time. A good part of his index and middle fingers are missing – the very fingers use to hold his blades.

Levi was quiet, almost very quiet. Y/N didn't know what to say, so she just grabbed Levi's hand. What do you say to someone who just went through what Levi did?

"You're okay now. I'm sorry we didn't come earlier…" Feeling of guilt wash over Y/N, "I should have been with you."

Levi gripped her hand as hard as he could, and his stare was more piercing than usual that Y/N is sure Levi can read all her thoughts and feelings.

"Don't. It's not your fault. We had no idea it was gonna end up this way."

"Still, it's not a good feeling." Y/N answered quietly. Neither of them noticed how tight their hands were intertwined by then. Surely a sign of the feelings that remain unspoken.

"Thank you, by the way. I'm probably only alive because of you, Y/N." It was at that moment Y/N heart stopped. Levi just gave her a smile so sincere and gentle; it took her breath away. Y/N can't stop the smile that appeared on her lips – a smile so big her cheeks hurt.

"I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

* * *

It was a quiet couple of days. Levi was recovering quickly, and Hange was finally able to take longer breaks since Y/N is now able to forage and hunt.

"We need to have a plan." Levi declared one night as they were having some squirrels for dinner. "If Jaegerists are successful in taking over, we can assume that no help would come. It's up to us."

"You're right. I still have connections in Trost, though. I just have to get in touch with them." Hange was clearly already planning everything. She has that focused looked of hers, something she usually gets when her mind is on capturing titans.

"I can get in contact with them for you." Said Y/N, taking both Hange and Levi by surprise.

"No." Levi said firmly, clearly unhappy about the proposition.

"What do you mean no? You and Hange are too recognizable. I doubt anyone would pay attention to me."

"No. Floch and Onyankopon know who you are. It's too risky."

"Well, it's better me than Humanity's strongest or Commander Hange now, is it?"

Sensing the sudden onslaught of tension, Hange made a wise decision of getting out of there quickly. "Let's talk it over more tomorrow morning. Rest up you two! I'll take first watch." And off she goes.

"Look, I know I can do this. I'm also a soldier like you, remember?" Y/N hissed. Unhappy being an understatement. She was unmoving on her spot on the dingy cot – something Levi absolutely detest – and was trying to avoid Levi's eyes. She's not sure what she was expecting to happen, but she does know that she just wants them… Levi to trust her to do this.

Levi let go of a deep sigh, and after shaking his head, he went on to sit beside Y/N. "I know you're more than capable. You're one of the most talented people I know."

"Then why?" The brewing annoyance inside Y/N seems to disappear the moment she laid her eyes on Levi. Concern was evident on his face, and that took her by surprise.

Quietly, almost inaudibly Levi let go of his frustration. "Fuck it…" He turned, eyes burning with all the pent-up emotions he gathered throughout the years, "I don't want anything to happen to you. You're the... most important person to me. Has been for quite a while now. And I'll be damned if I let you walk out that door and get caught up in all this shit!"

Y/N felt like she forgot how to breathe. It's like both her chest and throat was burning! And she never thought she wanted to hear just what Levi said, but it was something she really needed to hear. "So, you don't doubt me?"

"No, of course not. I just want you to be safe. As safe as we all could be anyway." It was when Y/N finally gave in to her urges and launched herself on Levi, engulfing him in a big hug. Tears of happiness and relief were threatening to spill from her eyes, so she buried her face more on Levi's chest. She felt his hand hesitantly pat her back… before he did it again, and again and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Seemingly coming to her senses, Y/N pulled away, "I… um I'm sorry about that."

Shaking his head, he brought his hand to Y/N's face, caressing her cheeks in a very sweet and warm gesture. "Don't you think we ought to be more honest to each other now?"

Y/N's laughter rang around the room, bring warmth and joy to the clearly crappy little cottage. "I guess you're right." And it was like words were no longer necessary. Suddenly, everything seems to make sense and both Levi and Y/N are thankful that everything happened the way they did as it brought both of them here and now.

It was only natural for Y/N to close her eyes, and for Levi to close the gap between them. The kiss was light as a feather at first, as if they're both testing the waters. But that little gesture broke the dam, and every feeling they ever had for each other came pouring out.

It was passionate and loving; Levi felt a thirst like no other and he was seeking relief from Y/N's lips. They let this action talk for them, still, it wasn't enough. At one point they had to come up for air as if they were drowning – drowning in each other's affection.

"I love you." They said, almost at the same time. And they know and felt in that moment that whatever happens, whoever wins this blasted war, the two of them would never regret a thing as the words that went unsaid for years are now laid out.

"I love you."


End file.
